Friday, December 16, 2005
Asset #1 - Family Support - Family Activities to Increase Family Assets.
We would all like to have families that are loving, supportive, cooperative and fulfilling. But we have to learn to "walk the walk, not just talk the talk" about the importance of families to our lives and to our communities. A satisfying and nurturing family life requires a genuine and long-term commitment in terms of time, energy, resources and responsibility. Here are several suggestions to help families build their assets and provide them with the skills and courage to make the necessary changes.
- Have a family meeting once a week to open up family communication, discuss family business, plan family activities, and improve family support. Create a shared vision by asking "What do each of you see as the purpose of our family?"
- Create a family support circle>Each member takes a turn being in the center of the circle and other family members tell him/her one thing this person has done the past week that they like, appreciate and which contributes to family functioning. (This helps us think positively about each family member's contribution.)
- Think "win-win" instead of "win-lose," which is a "me-first" attitude and leads to power struggles and conflict. Create a scenario of the family as a team and the adults as partners. Develop the skills and spend the time necessary to learn to play the family game in a way that is both challenging and fun for all.
- Give each family member at least one genuine compliment, hug and "thank you" each day.
- On each person's birthday, have each family member (including extended family members) write a note or tell the birthday person why he or she is special.
- Seek to understand. The key to reduced conflict and greater satisfaction is the simple skill of reflective listening. This means repeating back what the other person seems to be thinking and feeling without giving advice or being critical. The goal is for you to gain understanding of what the other is thinking and feeling.
- The married couple or committed pair should have a "date night" at least twice a month. This must be scheduled and have higher priority than most other activities.
- Each parent will spend 10 minutes a day and 30 minutes per week with each child doing something special.
- Regularly write a note to each family member, telling how important he or she is to you and to the family. Put it in the lunch box, under the dinner plate, on top of the pillow, or mail it to that individual.
- Write a family history of your family. Assign each family member the responsibility to write a paragraph about several persons in the family's genealogy.
- Visit one ethnic festival, art, cultural or a historical museum each month for the next year.
- Make a telephone call to each family member (including extended family members) each month to inquire about their health and well-being and share your life with them.
- Have a family fix-up/clean-up day twice a month in which all family members work for 2 hours improving the family living environment.
- Together, go to a movie, play, music performance, sporting event, church activity, at least once a month.
- Plan your own weekly activity in which all family members have a voice in choosing the activity. Each person must make a contribution toward the successful completion of the activity and will try to make it fun for others in the family.
- Set up a weekly rotation in which each family member has the opportunity to choose the activity for their scheduled week.
- "Sharpen your saw" refers to each person's continuous self-renewal. Unless people make time for self-renewal, they won't have the energy or the tools to build effective families. Family members need to support each other in renewing themselves in the four major areas of life.
- Physical. Taking care of our bodies so we are strong and healthy enough to do our best.
- Social/emotional. Improving our capacity to love and be loved.
- Intellectual/mental. Improving our ability to think clearly_value life-long learning.
- Spiritual. Connecting to the world beyond the family_making a greater contribution to society.
- Celebrate together major accomplishments and successes and marker events (i.e., a new job, first driver's license, good grades in school, an increase in salary, a move to better housing etc.) as family members move through the life cycle.
For more information visit:
ianrpubs.unl.edu/family/g1345.htm#account
www.hampton.gov/foryouth
www.search-institute.org
Please print and review the following worksheet:
Hints For Getting Along As A Family - Youth & Adult Exercise